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Broker's Banquet
virus327 (2005) CD - $12.00
iTunes emusic
Not even Ronald Reagan's death could exterminate the tenacious 80s yuppie, who now seeks to exploit our precious punk heritage in the form of The Yuppie Pricks from Austin, TX. Core members boast an impressively depressing resume of professional qualifications including divorce law, stock trading, and running a pharmaceutical company. High 80s literature like Bright Lights, Big City and American Psycho gave us a glimpse of the decadent, narcissistic yuppie lifestyle, but Broker's Banquet rubs our lower tax-bracket noses in mountains of cocaine and Wolfgang Puck pizzas.

The Yuppie Pricks' first album was an exclusive affair sold only on Wall Street and in country clubs: rumor has it that they bribed Biafra to release Broker's Banquet to get street cred. Sonically speaking, these Pricks probably had a crash course in punk rock by listening to the DKs Give Me Convenience or Give Me Death on CD as they drove around in their Range Rovers, then somehow got a whiff of the New Bomb Turks. The Yuppie Pricks somehow tricked anti-yuppie pundit Jello Biafra into a guest appearance on the Geto Boys parody "Damn It Feels Good to Be a Yuppie"! Jello, rapping? Yep, the proof is on "Broker's Banquet"!

Gordon Gecko immortalized the 80s "Greed is Good" philosophy and G. W. Bush applied his yuppie shenaniganism to the American Presidency, but it took The Yuppie Pricks to collide this carnivorous mentality with punk.

"The Yuppie Pricks hold a schtick so ridiculously over-the-top, so laughably bizarre, so comically absurd that you can't really help but take notice. With a press release telling of the band's lavish lifestyles and greed-chasing outside endeavors (multimillion stockbroking, sitting heir to a pharmaceutical fortune), the Pricks accomplish, as their headline decrees, "Biafra [listening] to America and [answering] the mandate for conservative punk!" Tongue is shoved so far in cheek, reconstructive oral surgery wouldn't settle this mouth.
The band's sound isn't too hard to pin down. It's catchy punk rock with some serious Dead Kennedys worship going on, and though the sarcasm is way more fleshed out than most bands even attempt to meet halfway, the snotty, very Biafra-like bark shouts over rolling drums, clashing three-chord strums and facetiously thrilled backup vocals, although very done before, will be pretty refreshing in the mind of any even slightly-jaded individual in the present day. The band's subject matter ranges from angel dust gatherings to orally pleasing Governor Schwarzenegger to leaving the living world behind with nothing but wads of monetary accomplishment behind them. The first of such is evidenced in the opener, "Coke Party," which begins with a mocking of Queen's "We Will Rock You," throwing in obvious sniffle noises between the foot stomps before the crescending announcement of "coke party coke party coke party COKE PARTY! (gonna get high, gonna get high!)"
Oh, did I mention this was over-the-top? I ask, because, "Damn It Feels Good To Be A Yuppie," which closes Broker's Banquet, is a rap-ballad about the band's lifestyle, complete with a bridge from a George W. impersonator. Seriously.
The Yuppie Pricks, while musically nothing new, have definitely chosen the appropriate vehicle (not a jewel-encrusted, irony-laden BMW) for their almost superfluous image. Recognition is deserving for effort alone, but hell, the music ain't bad either."



1. "Coke Party" (1:43)
2. "Mirror, Mirror" (2:04)
3. "Hummer In My Hummer" (1:58)
4. "Rich Bitch" (2:21)
5. "Gonna Die Rich" (1:52)
6. "Cherry Red" (2:00)
7. "Day Spa" (2:01)
8. "Boo Fucking Hoo" (2:41)
9. "Black Tuesday" (1:59)
10. "Daycheck" (1:13)
11. "Prick or President" (2:14)
12. "New Rolls" (2:09)
13. "Damn It Feels Good To Be A Yuppie" (5:18)

The Yuppie Pricks

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