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02/15/08: Satellite shoot-down comedic gold
"Having the US government spend millions of dollars to destroy a billion-dollar failure to save zero lives is comedic gold."
--Unnamed scientist commenting on the Navy's plan to shoot down a dead spy satellite.

More on this here.

01/17/08: George of Arabia

"Since taking office, Bush has doubled the federal debt to more than $5 trillion. And, according to US Treasury figures, on net, foreign investors have purchased close to 100% of that debt. That's $3 trillion borrowed from the Saudis, the Chinese, the Japanese and others . . . .

"Bush needs the Saudis to charge us big bucks for oil. The Saudis can't lend the US Treasury and Citibank hundreds of billions of US dollars unless they first get these US dollars from the US. The high price of oil is, in effect, a tax levied by Bush but collected by the oil industry and the Gulf kingdoms to fund our multi-trillion dollar governmental and private debt-load."

--Greg Palast, from his article "George of Arabia" at

12/21/07: A Zolarian lesson for the holidays...

Merry Christmas: V-MORR ZO-MAZZ

Happy Holidays: ZELIM VOESTAA

--Ygarr Ygarrist, Zolar X

11/09/07: None of the Above, or Die!

"If you don't like any candidates you vote None Of The Above and if NOTA wins, the election is rerun with new candidates. Think of all the megalomaniacs we could get rid of. Although, another way is to follow the example of a world leader I truly admire, Pope John Paul I. He reached the pinnacle and died 30 days later. Maybe that's what we should do with the office of president. 'OK, you can be president, but 30 days later you croak'."
Jello Biafra in the Guardian Unlimited.

09/24/07: My Chemical Romance not "emo"?!
"Basically, it's never been accurate to describe us. Emo bands were being booked while we were touring with Christian metal bands because no one would book us on tours. I think emo is F--ing garbage, it's bulls--. I think there's bands that unfortunately we get lumped in with that are considered emo and by default that starts to make us emo. All I can say is anyone actually listening to the records, put the records next to each other and listen to them and there's actually no similarities. I think emo's a pile of s--."
- Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance, from a 9/20/07 interview in the The Maine Campus newspaper.

09/13/07: Vale on the Expo!
"Expo For The Artist and Musician is one of San Francisco's signature yearly events celebrating those who truly make San Francisco an "interesting" city - no, not the rich, not the realtors, not the profiteers - but the artists, those who create the culture which endures long after the money-grubbing parasites are rotting in the ground."
- Vale of Re/Search Publications

Stop on by the Alternative Tentacles booth (& Vale's Re/Search booth!) at this Saturday's annual Expo For The Artist and Musician!

08/20/07: Double-D rockin' Ohio cellblock!
This is a postcard we just received from a mailorder customer behind bars in Ohio:
"Hey you people-
Everything made it- Just wanted to thank you for all the extra goodies- such as the mag, flyers, cd, etc. Liberty Toast rips! All of them do- I'm jammin. Sometimes I get $ for food but I'll save it & get music instead. When I get too many cds I send them to my woman.
I got band practice today with my band "Tainted By Man"- we got 6 songs now- not bad for only being together for a couple of months and getting 1 1/2 hours of practice a week- It took me 3 years to get that slot. We're the only punk rock group in this prison- It feels good to let it all go: my five with these bars and barb wired fences.
Take care of yourselves- be safe out there-
Double D"

07/31/07: Discernable reality and Reality reality
"In what we call the reality-based community, [people] believe that solutions emerge from your judicious study of discernible reality. That's not the way the world really works anymore. We're an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you're studying that reality -- judiciously, as you will -- we'll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that's how things will sort out. We're history's actors . . . and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do."
- Karl Rove, advisor to President George W. Bush as quoted by Ron Suskind in this 2004 NY Times Magazine article (thanks Ponnie!).

07/24/07: President Bush on performance royalties

Question: Mr. President, music is one of our largest exports the country has. Currently, every country in the world -- except China, Iran, North Korea, Rwanda and the United States -- pay a statutory royalty to the performing artists for radio and television air play. Would your administration consider changing our laws to align it with the rest of the world?

THE PRESIDENT: Help. (Laughter.) Maybe you've never had a President say this -- I have, like, no earthly idea what you're talking about. (Laughter and applause.) Sounds like we're keeping interesting company, you know? (Laughter.)

Look, I'll give you the old classic: contact my office, will you? (Laughter.) I really don't -- I'm totally out of my lane. I like listening to country music, if that helps. (Laughter.)

From a 7/17/07 press conference in Nashville, TN

05/02/07: Bush, Pot, Kettle, and the color Black
"After forcing most of our troops to withdraw, the bill would dictate the terms on which the remaining commanders and troops could engage the enemy. That means America's commanders in the middle of a combat zone would have take fighting directions from politicians 6,000 miles away in Washington, D.C. This is a prescription for chaos and confusion, and we must not impose it on our troops."

- President George W. Bush's comments after he vetoed a $124 billion war spending bill that would have imposed timelines to withdraw U.S. troops from Iraq. (From today's Democracy Now)

05/01/07: Mission Accomplished!
"Admiral Kelly, Captain Card, officers and sailors of the USS Abraham Lincoln, my fellow Americans: Major combat operations in Iraq have ended. In the Battle of Iraq, the United States and our allies have prevailed. And now our coalition is engaged in securing and reconstructing that country.

In this battle, we have fought for the cause of liberty, and for the peace of the world. Our nation and our coalition are proud of this accomplishment yet it is you, the members of the United States military, who achieved it. Your courage your willingness to face danger for your country and for each other made this day possible. Because of you, our nation is more secure. Because of you, the tyrant has fallen, and Iraq is free...

This nation thanks all of the members of our coalition who joined in a noble cause. We thank the Armed Forces of the United Kingdom, Australia, and Poland, who shared in the hardships of war. We thank all of the citizens of Iraq who welcomed our troops and joined in the liberation of their own country. And tonight, I have a special word for Secretary (Donald) Rumsfeld, for General (Tommy) Franks, and for all the men and women who wear the uniform of the United States: America is grateful for a job well done...

The liberation of Iraq is a crucial advance in the campaign against terror. We have removed an ally of al-Qaida, and cut off a source of terrorist funding. And this much is certain: No terrorist network will gain weapons of mass destruction from the Iraqi regime, because the regime is no more."

- President George W. Bush on the deck of the aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln while it sailed 30 miles off of San Diego, CA, on May 1, 2003. Text from CBS News.

03/12/07: Rosanne Barr & Jello Biafra!?!
"I agree with Jello Biafra, there should be a maximum wage"
- Rosanne Barr on this morning's Howard Stern show on Satellite Radio.

01/31/07: Eyewitness to DC's peace protest
"Whatever you read in the press about this weekends anti-war protest in DC being attended by tens of thousands is totally false. [We were] in DC Saturday and I can tell you honestly it was easily *hundreds* of thousands of people on the Washington mall. An interesting thing to me was the large contingent of "Iraq Veterans Against the War", many of whom -get this- had safety-pinned screen-printed back patches reading "Iraq Veterans Against the War" with large red stars as the logo, onto their fatigues. The other thing that struck me was how young many of these *veterans* were. When I think of veterans I think of people my grandfathers age for WW2 and folks my uncles age for Vietnam. These guys looked more like the teenage kids at our shows..."
- Jeff/Disaster Strikes on the 1/20/07 DC Peace Rally

01/27/07: Fat Mike being serious
On negative reactions to Punk Voter from some of "The Kids" (tm):
"It doesn't bother me. I knew before I started Punkvoter that I would get some shit and some ridicule, but that's how it goes. If you're gonna go out on a limb and make a big stink, people are gonna throw stink bombs right back at you. I don't mind stinking."


01/25/07: Fat Mike being serious
On President George W. Bush's reelection:
"I was a bit surprised that Bush won, but that's how it goes. Elections have always been fixed here and there. I was only bummed for a couple days, cuz we did our part at Punkvoter. We accomplished everything we set out to do. We just lost the election. If I had done nothing, I would have felt a lot worse."


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