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Hail George, Conqueror of Evildoers!
Dear George W. Bush:
Hats off to you, sir, for a job well done! The Soviets tried for ten years to do what it took you only two months to accomplish in Afghanistan. How did you do that? It's funny how a couple months ago there were all these Taliban, and now -- there aren't any! You must be some kind of super magician -- almost as good at disappearing acts as ol' Osama (or, as they say on the Fox Nuisance Channel, "Usama" -- I like their spelling better, like "We put the 'USA' in USAma!"). He did exist, didn't he? I would hate to have gotten myself all worked up over the wrong evildoer! I loved that last tape of his, the home video of his sleepover with that sheik. What a party animal, that guy!
And how 'bout that Northern Alliance! Thanks to them, my weekly supply of heroin will finally be reinstated. Whoo-hoo -- and just in time for New Year's Rockin' Eve! Those Taliban simply did NOT have the best delivery system for the stuff, kinda like why you never see Beaman's gum anymore -- poor distribution and shelf placement. According to the New York Times, the Northern Alliance has put all the poppy farmers back to work, and they are promising a "bumper crop" by spring.
But Mr. Bush, I am most impressed with how you have used those who died on September 11th to justify your lining the pockets of your rich friends and campaign contributors. Your "Economic Stimulus Bill" -- pure genius! You actually got the House of Representatives to pass a bill eliminating the law that said corporations have to pay at least a token minimum tax every year.
See, most people forget that back in your daddy's day (when he was VP) thousands of companies were able to lawyer their way out of paying any taxes at all! Then a law was passed to stop that. Now you got the House to agree to give all these corporations back ALL the minimum taxes they have paid since 1986!! That's $140 billion of givebacks ($1.4 billion to IBM, a billion to Ford, $800 million to GM, etc.). And you got this passed, all under the guise of "September 11th!" How do you get away with this without the American public whoopin' your behind? Man, you are THE MAN!
Hey, and tell your top sheriff, Big John Ashcroft, that his refusal to let the FBI look at the files of gun background checks that the Justice Department keeps -- to see if any of the terrorists or suspected terrorists have purchased weapons in the past two years -- took some balls! Even though checking those files might turn up information that could protect us in possible future attacks, Ashcroft was more concerned with not upsetting the NRA than in helping his own FBI catch the bad guys. Now that's what I call getting your priorities straight. Big John may have lost his Senate seat last year to a dead guy, but he sure as heck ain't gonna lose me as a huge admirer!
Well, I better go before someone from the Office of Homeland Security mistakes me for someone who needs to be "interviewed!" Rest assured I'm doing my part for the country by shopping my sorry ass off in this week before Christmas. Buy! Buy! Buy! Tora! Tora! Tora! Bora! Whoo-hoo, Prince O' Peace!! Fight Team Fight! Go get 'em, George, Jr. -- we're counting on you to kill all evildoers!
Yours, PHILADELPHIA (Reuters) -
PHILADELPHIA (Reuters) -A federal judge Tuesday overturned the death sentence of former journalist and Black Panther Mumia Abu-Jamal, and ordered a new sentencing hearing for the convicted cop-killer.
U.S. District Judge William Yohn let stand Abu-Jamal's conviction for the Dec. 9, 1981, murder of Philadelphia police officer Daniel Faulkner, however, denying the death row inmate's request for a new trial. But Yohn gave the state 180 days to conduct a fresh sentencing hearing, citing errors in the original penalty phase of his murder trial.
Abu-Jamal is a cause celebre among death penalty opponents around the world, including Hollywood celebrities and European public figures, many of whom regard him as a political prisoner.
Philadelphia prosecutors say Abu-Jamal murdered Faulkner during a shootout more than 20 years ago, after the police officer pulled over his brother for driving the wrong way down a one-way street. Abu-Jamal, who was wounded in the chest, contends he was shot while running away.
With dogged backing from a network of supporters, Abu-Jamal has repeatedly maintained his innocence in Faulkner's death and launched numerous legal appeals to stall his execution.
12/12/01: POLICE UNVEIL NEW OFFICER DOLLS FOR CHILDREN
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) -
Look out, G.I. Joe.
Here comes "LAPD Patrol Officer West," a tiny, sinewy action figure doll dressed just like a Los Angeles police officer right down to his tiny die-cast metal gun, handcuffs, pepper spray and black boots -- all for $39.95 and available in time for Christmas.
The Los Angeles Police Protective League (LAPPL), a union representing about 9,000 Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) officers, has begun selling the dolls, dressed in authentic LAPD uniforms, via the department's Web site (www.lapd.com) in order to raise the profile of law enforcement officers in the community, a spokesman said.
"These action figures are not only great gifts for law enforcement officers and children, but they are also a great way to show pride in the law enforcement heroes that are protecting our nation right now," said LAPPL President Mitzi Grasso.
"The extensive planning and design that went into these figures to make sure that they are realistic representations of police officers makes them quality gifts," Grasso added.
Standing one-foot (.34 meters) tall, the dolls are the first in a series of "LAPD Elite Force Action Figures" that will come complete with 1/6-scale weapons and accessories. Also in time for the 2001 holiday season, the LAPPL has introduced a female companion for West, "Patrol Officer Sommers."
New officer dolls will follow each quarter, the union said in a statement, including officers assigned to K9 dog units, SWAT teams, narcotics, air support, horse-mounted patrol, bicycle detail, riot control and motorcycle patrol.
The dolls follow a massive recruiting campaign launched last summer by the scandal-plagued force, involving radio spots, print ads, theater and bus shelter promos and 50 billboards. The campaign aims at attracting more recruits by spotlighting the good, caring actions of the department's officers.
Recruitment and retention of qualified personnel has been a major problem for the department since the city's Rampart station corruption scandal broke in September 1999. In that scandal, an officer who was accused of stealing cocaine from an evidence locker began detailing pervasive corruption at the Rampart station.
More than 100 criminal convictions have been recorded in the scandal, which is expected to cost the city hundreds of millions of dollars in legal and settlement costs.
The LAPD currently has fewer than the 9,000 officers required to patrol the nation's second-largest city, and about 800 below its level of two years ago.
Recent figures show that the department needs to recruit between 16,000 and 27,000 applicants just to hire the 1,000 extra officers it needs to meet city standards because applicants face an extensive screening process.
Many of you have contacted us encouraging us to accept PayPal on our website. Well, now we have enabled that.
Just add to the shopping cart whatever you want, and when it comes time for Check Out, select PayPal and it takes you over to the PayPal website where you can easily and quickly complete the transaction. Remember, it costs you nothing when you pay via PayPal (we pay the transaction cost).
For information on PayPal, please see:
Of course you can still pay for Alternative Tentacles' goods with : cash, check, money order, international money order, and these credit cards : Visa, Mastercard, American Express and Discover.
See our Store page for more info and a list of all of our new items that we carry such as :
Tons of lps, tapes, cds, 7"s, clothing, books, merch, stickers, buttons, ...lots of new stuff now in stock - from the latest Alternative Tentacle's releases (Strobe Talbot, Noam Chomsky, Flaming Stars, Fleshies, Phantom Limbs, Slim Cessna, Victim's Family,....) to merchandise such as messenger bags, John Yates shirts, Jello stuff, including TONS OF DEAD KENNEDYS merch - check it out!!
12/07/01: United We Stand Commemorative Pistol
This was lifted from the American Firearms website (http://www.amfire.com) :
Accokeek, MD (October 9, 2001) - Beretta U.S.A. is proud to introduce the limited edition 92F, 9 mm United We Stand Pistol, which features a laser etched gold American Flag and the words "United We Stand" on the slide. Production will be limited to 2001 units. In addition, each United We Stand Pistol will be laser etched with "1 of 2001" on the slide.
Beretta U.S.A. General Manager Steve Parsick announced that Beretta will make a donation from the proceeds of the United We Stand Pistol to the NY City Police Foundation and Survivor's Fund of the National Capital Region.
"The tragic events of September 11, 2001 have left many of our fellow-Americans devastated and in need of help," said Mr. Parsick. "We are proud to have created the United We Stand Pistol as a way to assist those who have been so effected by the horrific events of September 11th. The United We Stand Pistol was created as a testament to the American sprit, which will remain unbroken during this time of national tragedy."
Like all 92 Series pistols, The United We Stand Pistol features chrome lined bore, external hammer, integral front sight, and reversible magazine release. As part of the 92 Series of pistols, the United We Stand Pistol joins a class of pistols that have enjoyed unrivaled success by a multi-national roster of defense and law enforcement organizations.
Beretta, the world's oldest firearms manufacturer, is celebrating its 475th anniversary in 2001. The company produces and markets, worldwide, a complete line of firearms, clothing and accessories, including: field and premium grade sporting shotguns and rifles; a full range of pistols and military arms; knives; and an exclusive line of hunting and sports leisure clothing.
To mark its 475th anniversary, Beretta is celebrating the release of the book, "The World of Beretta, An International Legend," which was written by R.L. "Larry" Wilson and is now on sale. A Beretta exhibit is currently underway at the National Firearms Museum in Fairfax, Virginia, where about 100 historical firearms will be on display to the end of the year.
For more information about Beretta and its complete line, visit its website at www.berettausa.com
12/06/01: PACHINKO's EURO MENAGERIE OF LIGHTS, BOURBON & BJORK
PACHINKO just returned from their European tour. Here is a letter that Brech wrote to a friend that he said we could put up on our website.
what a crazy time we're having i prague... last night we drove 10 1/2 hours through the austrian alps to find ourselves in prague, at the end of our shorter and shorter tour(tho' tonite we may play a gig here)
we decided to blow the last of our profit at a glitzy czech night club, the drinks actually cost more than a dollar, so we knew it was nice. hard to believe, but bjork's drummer was there, a tall man, who much like us, liked to drink hard and party harder. i told him that i knew the old drummer from the sugarcubes, siggi baldurson, he said that he too knew him, that they were old friends. yessirreebob, that was our in.
i told him that all tour i had been telling people that i once took a shower with bjork, and that it was crazy to run into her drummer. he laughed and made a phone call and within 15 minutes bjork arrived, i guess she was at a nicer club down the street. he had told her of my tall tale, she thought it was hilarious and we set to drinkin', goddamn can that girl drink, and dance, too.
after about 20 beam and cokes(which she wouldn't even let me pay for) i got her out on the dance floor to do her thing, the world was a spinning menagerie of lights, bourbon, and bjork. the next part i think i blacked out, but somehow all of us ended up back at bjork's hotel, it doesn't need to be said, but it was swank. the stereo in that joint was nicer than the clubs', things got bumpin'.
bjork kept bringing up the story about the "shower incident", i think it might have been the bravery of the beam, but i told her we might as well go take one. she said that her husband was in the other room,.... damn, ..shot down, .. but when she saw my heart drop, she reassured me that he wasn't a jealous man, BAMM!!, i thought to myself. i practically had my pants around my ankles, sprinting for the bathroom, once again, it was swank.
bjork followed me into the shower(imagine what king hussein might shower in), but she wouldn't take off her bejewelled panties, i kept ribbing her and ribbing her about it and finally she gave in, it turns out that she had shaven her pubic hair into a letter, (from the looks of it one that doesn't exist in the english language)the first letter of her husband's name, a husband which happened to be the the drummer, .... i guess he isn't a jealous man.
11/30/01: ANNIVERSARY OF FRANKENCHRIST
Today is the 16th anniversary of the release of Frankenchrist by the Dead Kennedys. More controversial than the album itself was the packaging: The Shriners filed suit regarding the cover (pictured were some of the ridiculous little cars they drive); and a poster included in the album was later the basis of obscenity charges against Jello Biafra and Alternative Tentacles.
11/28/01: NEW WAR TRADING CARDS
(from TOPPS website:)
A NEW SERIES DOCUMENTING AMERICA'S GREATEST CHALLENGE
This high-gloss 90-card set contains biographical information on the civilian and military leaders entrusted to guide us through this fight, statistical data and photos of military hardware. Kids need to understand that the President (and his team) will keep them safe and that evil-doers will be punished. Our cards deliver the details in a medium with which they are familiar and comfortable. Each pack contains 7 premium quality trading cards and 1 sticker featuring flags and patriotic designs.
11/28/01: KRIST NOVOSELIC LAUNCHES Inclusive Democracy?WEBSITE
Dear Fellow Lovers of Liberty & Democracy,
11/28/01: BRANDON CRUZ's LETTER UP ON WEBSITE AGAIN FOR SOME REASON
About 2months ago we posted a letter that character actor Brandon Cruz sent to Jello Biafra. East Bay Ray complained to us that Brandon had received nasty emails due to us posting that letter, which contained his email address. One person sent Brandon an email threatening violence which wasn't cool, so we complied with Ray's pleading to remove the letter. However, every day people are emailing us wanting to get a copy of the letter. So, here it is. Without his email address. Remember kids, violence isn't cool.
Date : September 24, 2001
11/27/01: WTO TOILET SUMMIT ANNOUNCED
(Singapore-AP) -- Jack Sim wants to break the silence on the topic of toilets. He's the founder of the 17-nation World Toilet Organization. The inaugural W-T-O summit took place recently in Singapore. And the members have declared every November 19th from now on World Toilet Day. Sim says the day will be used to promote awareness of the need for good toilets. The W-T-O has released nine aims, including improving the quality of toilet environments and promoting better toilets for all people on earth. Korea will host the next summit. Many industry members say that country has the best but most expensive toilets.
11/22/01: WHY DOC DART (Crucifucks) GETS HATE CALLS AFTER 9/11
It didn't take long for Doc Corbin Dart to publicly express his ideas following the Sept. 11 attacks. Since that day he's posted signs on the front of his Okemos house such as : "U.S. terror in Iraq makes Sept. 11th a tiny mirror image," and "U.S. Troops terrorize as cowards from the skies. They should be in body bags."
The reaction has been just as quick. He's faced everything from rocks thrown at his window to visits from the State Police, who, he said, walked around the perimeter of his property taking pictures. All along, Dart said he has also received menacing phone calls. "The threats at first were rather veiled, but starting last Wednesday or maybe the week before that, the veils came off. They've been completely death threats," her said.
One of the signs on Dart's house lists a phone number, which is how he's received most of his threats. Tapes recorded on his answering machine contain messages such as: "I'll brace myself for a long, long time...but in the end I'm going to kill all of you...all of you dead." "I will kill you if I get the chance."
Dart said that because of his opposition to the actions of the United States in Afghanistan, many people assume he's Arabic. One caller left the message: "Here's an idea-how about you camel jockeys go back to your goddamn country, leave us alone and pray to your fake God."
"Everything that I'm doing has been under the heading of the Animal Liberation Front, because human beings are animals and they won't admit it," Dart said. "There's not much that separates us from animals except that they're awake and alert and most humans are asleep."
To Dart, it is a moral imperative to act out against suffering in the world. He cites the assassination of John Lennon as a turning point. "That's kind of when it started for me. That was the final straw."
After multiple arrests during the mid-1980s in the name of various causes, Dart said he sank into a severe depression that lasted for years. About three years ago, he said his depression lifted and he began to work on what he calls "mystical trances," which he said is the antithesis of meditation. It is through his work with trances that led Dart to leave this message for anyone who calls the phone number posted on the front of his house: "His name is the number 26...He is the Messiah...He has arrived at the mountaintop...And no one on earth can bring him down." "Someone with divine authority had to step in and stop the destruction of nature, and the out of control propagation of the human species," he said. And Dart believes he is that authority. "But it's hard for people to understand that because I don't look the part." He said that there is a purpose to the expression of his claims, and that the signs are meant to "call attention to the terrorism initiated by the United States."
"It's not a local project, and it won't be finished until I've had my own impact on foreign policy," Dart said. That impact, according to Dart, would include a realignment of the United Nations so that more powerful countries don't have stronger influence. Also, he feels that the United Nations should go in between the Palestinians and Israelis to stop the violence there and begin negotiations until a fair settlement is reached, "for the Palestinians in particular." But the biggest impact for Dart would be to help convince the United States to "pull all of its tentacles out of the Middle East, and perhaps make reparations to the Iraqi people and others," he said.
11/18/01: AUCTION TO BENEFIT DIAL HOUSE (THE CRASS HOUSE)
22 Nov - 1 Dec : Art and Music Memorablia Auction
The DIAL HOUSE TRUST BENEFITIn order to help the infamous punk band Crass repay the debts that they incurrred in the purchasing of the house they've lived in for over thirty years and utilize as a local community center, a bunch of artists, music makers, etc have donated works of art and an auction begins next week on eBay.
Participants include: Cynthia Connolly, Pat Graham, Maya Hayuk, Tortoise, David Tibet (Current 93), Steven Stapleton (Nurse With Wound), Alec Mackaye, Sean Meadows, Modest Mouse, Winston Smith, Savage Pencil, V. Vale, Jem Cohen, Glen Friedman, and a lot more. Read on for more info about this amazing house and its efforts to offer an alternate way of living in the 21st century.
ONLINE AUCTION INFORMATION
All the pieces exhibited and offered for sale have been donated by the contributors. The auction will take place from 21st November to 1st December on ebay.co.uk. All of the work will be displayed here at the roving eye gallery and there will be direct links to the auctions on ebay if you want to make a bid.
For a really fascinating, inspiring, and totally worthwhile read
about Dial House, see
11/10/01: Mumia Abu-Jamal on detentions
Mumia Abu-Jamal on detentions
What was the most common response heard to the devastation that struck New York's Twin Towers and the Pentagon on 11 September, 2001? For tens, perhaps hundreds, of thousands of people, especially those in their 50s or older, the carnage and destruction of the aerial attack of 11 September brought to mind the flying squadrons of Imperial Japan when waves of them struck Pearl Harbor on 7 December, 1941. Over 2,300 Americans perished during that attack. As is often the case, people are often right. While there were obviously dissimilarities (Japan was a nation, not an organization) the psychological impact was indeed similar: shock, fear, outrage, and a massive military and social response.
After the Pearl Harbor attack, the U.S. declared war by the next day -- December 8th. It also embarked on an internal war of sorts, against Americans of Japanese descent. Within days of the bombing of Pearl Harbor, the media agitated against Japanese-Americans, as did the Los Angeles Times, which wrote: "A viper is nonetheless a viper wherever the egg is hatched - so a Japanese American, born of Japanese parents - grows up to be a Japanese, not an American." Racist editorials such as this paved the way for people like U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt to issue Executive Order 9066, which removed tens of thousands of Japanese-Americans from the West Coast, and placing over 120,000 Japanese men, women, and children in concentration camps, over 60% of whom were American citizens.
While there are far more Arab-Americans in the U.S. then there were Japanese-Americans in the U.S. in the 1940s, over 1,000 Arab-Americans are being held in secret, unlimited detention, with no meaningful access to lawyers. The U.S. Justice Dept. recently announced that it will monitor telephone conversations between detainees and lawyers.
So, that (internment) hasn't happened -- yet. At the time of World War II, the U.S. government announced it was fighting totalitarianism, and demanded hemispheric unity. As a result, some nations, like Peru, waged virtual war against their Japanese citizens. The Peruvian government froze and confiscated Japanese assets, shut down Japanese businesses and schools, and black-listed the entire Japanese community. Under U.S. pressure, the government forced some of its Japanese citizens to flee back to Japan; 1771 others were deported to the U.S., where they were confined to ugly, dusty concentration camps, in Texas. *These were Spanish-speaking Peruvian citizens*, whose only offenses were having Japanese ancestry!
Can what happened in the 1940s happen now? No? Why not? What if another bombing were to occur? Who can say?
Copyright 2001 Mumia Abu-Jamal
"They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve
neither liberty nor safety."
"All those who seek to destroy the liberties of a democratic nation
ought to know that war is the surest and the shortest means to accomplish it"
09/17/01: Tamim Ansary on the Attacks
BY: Tamim Ansary
(Note: this was originally posted listing him as a Professor at Berkeley. We have just heard that is not a Professor at Berkeley, but someone with a lot of insight.)
I've been hearing a lot of talk about "bombing Afghanistan back to the Stone Age." Ronn Owens, on KGO Talk Radio today, allowed that this would mean killing innocent people, people who had nothing to do with this atrocity, but "we're at war, we have to accept collateral damage. What else can we do?" Minutes later I heard some TV pundit discussing whether we "have the belly to do what must be done."
And I thought about the issues being raised especially hard because I am from Afghanistan, and even though I've lived here for 35 years I've never lost track of what's going on there. So I want to tell anyone who will listen how it all looks from where I'm standing.
I speak as one who hates the Taliban and Osama Bin Laden. There is no doubt in my mind that these people were responsible for the atrocity in New York. I agree that something must be done about those monsters.
But the Taliban and Ben Laden are not Afghanistan. They're not even the government of Afghanistan. The Taliban are a cult of ignorant psychotics who took over Afghanistan in 1997. Bin Laden is a political criminal with a plan. When you think Taliban, think Nazis. When you think Bin Laden, think Hitler. And when you think "the people of Afghanistan" think "the Jews in the concentration camps."
It's not only that the Afghan people had nothing to do with this atrocity. They were the first victims of the perpetrators. They would exult if someone would come in there, take out the Taliban and clear out the rats nest of international thugs holed up in their country.
Some say, why don't the Afghans rise up and overthrow the Taliban? The answer is, they're starved, exhausted, hurt, incapacitated, suffering.
A few years ago, the United Nations estimated that there are 500,000 disabled orphans in Afghanistan--a country with no economy, no food.
There are millions of widows. And the Taliban has been burying these widows alive in mass graves. The soil is littered with land mines, the farms were all destroyed by the Soviets. These are a few of the reasons why the Afghan people have not overthrown the Taliban.
We come now to the question of bombing Afghanistan back to the Stone Age. Trouble is, that's been done. The Soviets took care of it already.
Make the Afghans suffer? They're already suffering. Level their houses? Done. Turn their schools into piles of rubble? Done. Eradicate their hospitals? Done. Destroy their infrastructure? Cut them off from medicine and health care? Too late. Someone already did all that.
New bombs would only stir the rubble of earlier bombs. Would they at least get the Taliban? Not likely. In today's Afghanistan, only the Taliban eat, only they have the means to move around. They'd slip away and hide. Maybe the bombs would get some of those disabled orphans, they don't move too fast, they don't even have wheelchairs.
But flying over Kabul and dropping bombs wouldn't really be a strike against the criminals who did this horrific thing. Actually it would only be making common cause with the Taliban--by raping once again the people they've been raping all this time.
So what else is there? What can be done, then? Let me now speak with true fear and trembling. The only way to get Bin Laden is to go in there with ground troops. When people speak of "having the belly to do what needs to be done" they're thinking in terms of having the belly to kill as many as needed. Having the belly to overcome any moral qualms about killing innocent people. Let's pull our heads out of the sand.
What's actually on the table is Americans dying. And not just because some Americans would die fighting their way through Afghanistan to Bin Laden's hideout. It's much bigger than that folks. Because to get any troops to Afghanistan, we'd have to go through Pakistan.
Would they let us? Not likely. The conquest of Pakistan would have to be first.
Will other Muslim nations just stand by? You see where I'm going. We're flirting with a world war between Islam and the West.
And guess what: that's Bin Laden's program. That's exactly what he wants. That's why he did this. Read his speeches and statements. It's all right there. He really believes Islam would beat the west.
It might seem ridiculous, but he figures if he can polarize the world into Islam and the West, he's got a billion soldiers. If the west wreaks a holocaust in those lands, that's a billion people with nothing left to lose, that's even better from Bin Laden's point of view. He's probably wrong, in the end the west would win, whatever that would mean, but the war would last for years and millions would die, not just theirs but ours. Who has the belly for that? Bin Laden does. Anyone else?