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There is a TV show I'm told called the Gilmore Girls. The following dialog is from an episode from the show that aired recently. The title of the episode was : Application Anxiety.
Here is the dialog:
[a boy walks up to Lane]
DAVE: Excuse me, Lane?
LANE: That's me.
DAVE: Okay, great, I'm Dave Rygalski.
LANE: Right, hi. You're a guitarist.
LANE: But how'd you know I was me?
DAVE: The Dead Kennedys shirt was a tip off. (he's wearing a DK fresh fruit for rotting vegetables shirt.)
LANE: Good thinking. Hey, uh, isn't it a drag that Jello Biafra isn't singing for them anymore?
DAVE: Yeah, now their front-man's that kid from the Courtship of Eddie's Father.
LANE: Yeah, what's next - Urkel joining the Wu-Tang Clan?
DAVE: Or maybe Malcolm in the Middle fronting for the Butthole Surfers.
LANE: Some things are sacred.
DAVE: I'm with ya on that.
LANE: So, um, what's your band like?
DAVE: We do a lot of cool covers - uh, the Clash, the Kinks, et cetera. Statistically, it's like thirty-eight of the forty-three bands you listed.
LANE: Nice percentage.
10/15/02: East Bay Ray and Co. Sue Jello Again
True to the spirit and vision of Dead Kennedys (ho ho ho) East Bay Ray and Co. have filed a new lawsuit against Jello Biafra claiming he is interfering with their ability to profiteer off of Dead Kennedys.
07/19/02: WHAT JELLO DID ON HIS SUMMER VACATION
Jello Biafra was invited to participate in the Plug In conference put on by Jupiter Media Metrics in New York last week. He was asked to speak to major label and dot com music executives regarding the future of "digital music".
Jello took the opportunity to tell the people in attendance what he thinks of the major's horrible music and why they deserve to be file-shared and downloaded and how happy he would be if they all went out of business.
Only about 5% of the people walked out during Jello's talk.
Hillary Rosen of the RIAA gave the keynote speech.
There were certain discussions such as "What Teens Want" which featured 4 actual teens. 3 of the 4 teenagers said they acquire ALL of their music via filesharing. Another discussion was "Artists Are Brands". Hopefully at least one show biz executive left the room with some grasp as to why Jello doesn't consider himself a brand.
He then took the info from the Plug In conference across town to the H2K2 hackers conference put on by 2600 Magazine (the hackers quarterly) as a last minute addition to the bill.
Biafra updated his "hack the planet" piece from "Become The Media" (which was recorded at the last H2K) and spoke of his experience at the Plug In conference and at the end of the night he put on his DJ hat and played tracks from his newly acquired corporate sales convention LPs, such as : "the pepsi universe", "pepsi is everywhere", "the big bottling plant up in the sky", "the exon dealer's wife", and "atom and evil" - from a GE musical performed for executives.
In other Jello news : Jello recently performed at 2 Democracy Rising rallies alongside Ralph Nader and Patti Smith (in Portland, Maine and in New Haven, Connecticut) He is currently hard at work putting the final touches on his new spoken word album, "Machine Gun In The Clown's Hand", or "the BIGGER Ka-Boom" if you will. His new album is slated for release October 7th and looks to be 2 or 3 LP's in length and 2 to 3 CDs in length. It contains far more detail on the War On Terrorism Incorporated; Ashcroft in your bedroom; the Florida election follies, and more.
Jello hopes to line up alot of shows in the Fall, primarily in October, so make sure to check out our website for Tour Date updates. He will be performing on August 3rd in San Francisco at the Great American Music Hall together with Earth FIrst Activist, Darryl Cherney.
And if certain lawsuit addicted greed-heads can leave him alone long enough a new Jello Biafra music album or two may arise.
No foolin'! We are taking the entire month of April to celebrate Jello Biafra--punk rock visionary, the spoken word artist, the eternal activist--and the release of his new disc The Big Ka-Boom, Part One (Virus 276).
We're putting all Jello-related releases (spoken word, collaborations, music, you name it...) on sale through April in our online store. There will be special eBay auctions, contests, new mp3s, and pithy quotes galore as well!
Please visit our website often or sign up for our A.T. Freemail newsletter to keep up to date on all the cray-zee stunts we'll be pulling in the name of Jello!
03/25/02: YES, That Was JELLO BIAFRA on the OSCAR'S
Jello Biafra appeared on television last night as part of the Oscar's broadcast. During the opening film by filmmaker Errol Morris, there was a clip of Jello saying, "No More Wire Hangers!".
Jello was asked by Errol Morris to say a bit for this film a few weeks ago. The subject was how film has affected you or a poignant memory regarding film.
What was included was Jello's recant of being in San Francisco's Castro district while Mommie Dearest was being shown and a crowd of drag queens all screamed out, "No More Wire Hangers!".
Jello's bit received a great response from the audience in attendance and almost knocked an awestruck Greg Werckman - former Alternative Tentacles' General Manager - off of his couch.
Jello Biafra's new spoken word album : The Big Ka-Boom, Part One will be available in shops April 16, 2002. (Available earlier via our website). This is Jello's first release since January 2001 when he released his 3xLP/3xCD Become The Media. The Big Ka-Boom, Part One deals predominantly with the "War On Terrorism" and was recorded on one of his performances during the Spitfire Tour.
Jello appeared alongside Shawn Fanning, Mayor Jerry Brown, Alice Waters, Susan Sontag, Mayor Willie L. Brown Jr., Iggy Pop, Donald Trump, First Lady Laura Bush, Philip Glass, Lou Reed, Rev. Al Sharpton, President Mikhail Gorbachev, Walter Cronkite, and Laurie Anderson, and many, many in the film short.
12/12/01: JELLO MAKES FRONT PAGE NEWS IN SAN FRANCISCO
On 12/11, the San Francisco Examiner reported that exasperated citizens are voting for Jello as a write-in candidate in the runoff election for city attorney. Thankfully, the paper refrained from using the tired ol' "There's room for Jello" joke in the story. Read the full article here.
11/21/01: JELLO KISSED TAMMY FAYE
Tammy Faye was in town recently with John Waters for a night of entertaining at the Castro Theater. Jello had the rare treat of getting to kiss the woman with the famous eye make-up.
09/24/01: Brandon Cruz's letter to Jello Removed from site
East Bay Ray asked us to remove Brandon Cruz's letter from our website.
09/17/01: JELLO SPEAKS OUT ABOUT TERRORIST ATTACKS
In 1991, Jimmy Carter publicly warned George Bush that his Gulf War would set back world peace and Middle Eastern relations at least twenty years. Now what happens? Now what do we do? I fear a mass slaughter of innocent civilians far greater than what happened at the World Trade Center. I fear governments all over the world will round up and attack anyone who opposes them for any reason on the grounds that they are terrorist sympathizers; kind of like what we did when we locked up thousands of labor union activists and immigrants in the 1920's for opposing World War I. I also fear that after we have blown up and killed every living thing in Afghanistan (which the Soviets tried to do for ten years and lost, by the way) that Osama Bin Laden will emerge from his cave and tell his mushrooming following, "I told you so." Even if we wipe out the millions of people who already agree with him - what will their kids be like? And what will their children be like? Look at how young the people throwing rocks at Israeli soldiers are. This isn't going to go away. There has to be a better answer; I just wish I knew what it was.
06/06/01: JELLO TO EMBARK ON A SHORT TOUR OF SCANDINAVIA
Jello will have some spoken word dates in Scandinavia in June, including two days at the Hultsfred Festival. Please check the Tour Dates section for dates and venues.
03/27/01: JELLO PLANS ON OPPOSING FTAA SUMMIT
Jello Biafra is currently planning on being in Quebec on April 20th to oppose the FTAA summit of the Americas.
01/23/01: JELLO BIAFRA FIGHTS TRASHING OF DEAD KENNEDYS
On the same day as the release of his long awaited new spoken word album "Become The Media", Jello Biafra, the acknowledged leader, visionary and main song writer of the now defunct punk pioneers, Dead Kennedys, takes issue with the highly misleading press release and actions of the other former band members, and opposes the release of a subpar live album and rest of the DK back catalog behind his back and without his permission:
I have now had to ask them to please remove my name and likeness from all their releases and promotional material. Don't get me wrong, I'm as proud as ever of Dead Kennedys and grateful for how much we mean to people. But I'm totally embarrassed by what they're trying to do.
I will not support anyone who condones greed and vicious lawsuits to scam on someone else's art against the wishes of all the artists involved. Alternative Tentacles will not endorse or carry unauthorized Dead Kennedys albums in our mail order. I will not sign them. I don't even want them in my collection.
What the ex-Kennedy's are neglecting to tell you is that the jury's verdict is outrageous and both legally and factually incorrect. I have filed a motion for a new trial and will file an appeal. The court also found that East Bay Ray had committed fraud and had breached his fiduciary duty to his partners (including Biafra) in the handling of Dead Kennedys' royalties, and the jury assessed damages against him.
The Court has found that the underlying intellectual property, including the compositions and recordings were in fact owned by the individual members of the band, a point continuously asserted by Biafra and denied by the rest of the band.
Most importantly, however, the court ordered the Decay Music partnership wound up and dissolved. While Ray continues to attempt to market the band's music, any license will be subject to legal challenge as control in reality rests with the individual members.
END OF MAIN PRESS RELEASE
For further details on "Become The Media", "The No WTO Combo" album, and all recent Jello and Alternative Tentacles projects, please contact Michelle at Alternative Tentacles.
Following are further facts and replies regarding the three ex-DKs lawsuit and their recent press release:
So what is this really about? For over two years we have bent over backwards to compromise and settle this case. They reneged and refused.
The plaintiffs' press release also fails to mention that their legal action came right after Biafra opposed using Dead Kennedys' song, "Holiday in Cambodia," in a Levi's Dockers TV commercial. "I was shocked they would even consider the idea, let alone pressure me to do it. Talk about being on the wrong side of an issue. So many people are upset with growing corporate branding and intrusion into our daily lives, from the WTO to the Buzzcocks' song in an SUV commercial. I could think of no worse way to stab Dead Kennedys fans in the back than to turn around and trash everything we ever stood for and allow one of our best (and my favorite) songs to be used to sell products by a global corporation with controversial labor practices. Dead Kennedys always stood against things like this." said Biafra.
Yes, there was an honest accounting mistake. We were all trying to identify how the discrepancy happened. Only after I refused to sell out to Levis did the others bring in lawyers and start making all kinds of wild accusations. When we (yes, we) found the discrepancy and totaled it up, we paid them the money before their lawsuit was even filed. There was no court order then, and there was no cover-up. As soon as we knew the total we told them. The perpetuity offer was only that - an offer - waiting for a counter offer where both parties could hopefully meet in the middle and shake hands. We thought we were dealing with reasonable people.
At the trial, Ray, Klaus, and DH went up to the witness stand one by one and lied. They claimed they wrote the music to all my songs because, "Biafra is not a musician." They claimed I could not possibly have written anything because I don't play a musical instrument, and worse yet, don't read sheet music. (Does this mean the secretary who typed an author's dictation created the literary work? No. How many artists do you know who teach their songs to the band by humming the parts? I still do. Charlie Chaplin did it with a full orchestra.) They also claimed that I somehow sneaked the writing credits by them, and they never noticed the credits on the albums or their BMI statements for the last 20 years. Imagine my shock and disgust to see them say these things with a straight face.
They also brought in an expert witness from Grateful Dead Records who claimed I owed Ray, Klaus, and Darren hundreds of thousands in damages for "failure to promote Dead Kennedys." What did they ever do? He based his conclusions on a cockeyed axiom that if "X" amount more money had been spent advertising old albums people already know, "X" amount more CD's would automatically have been sold. Therefore I should pay a huge damage sum for albums that don't even exist.
The ex-DK's also demanded damages because their own solo projects did not sell as well as Dead Kennedys. That was somehow my fault, too. Thankfully, the court threw that one out. The Grateful Dead guy further claimed I owed damages because Dead Kennedys, who broke up 14 years ago, were not periodically in Billboard, Rolling Stone, and get this, VH-1. He admitted he had no experience with underground punk labels.
To my eyes, even the three ex-Kennedy's looked visibly shocked when the jury verdict was read. They quickly showed that their intention was not to milk Dead Kennedys as a "democracy" at all, or even to share the band's royalties. They filed a motion to expel me from the Decay Music partnership, so they could pay me a lump sum and then never have to pay me again. That motion was denied.
They are now operating their so-called "democracy" so that I have no say in how they dispose of Dead Kennedys at all. I was never consulted about them hiring lawyers and publicists to smear and attack me, let alone using money they owe me to help pay for it. Shouldn't I be allowed a say in whether I help finance legal action against myself? This is not a democracy.
I found out about their new attempt to hijack the Dead Kennedys back catalog not from them, but from the press.
I was only sent a cassette of this supposed live album a few days ago. They have not allowed me to see the artwork (but "voted" to charge me for it, of course). I have also not been informed or allowed any say in who might be releasing this.
Another example is the censored version of Dead Kennedys' song, "Police Truck" in the Tony Hawk Pro Skateboard game. The offer originally came to Alternative Tentacles, and as legally obliged, we copied it to East Bay Ray. We never heard from Ray again. Needless to say I would never have agreed to any of our songs being censored just to appear in a video game. I have no idea what happened to the band's share of the money either. At least a hundred people have come up to me and complained about the censored "Police Truck."
Their live cassette sounds ok, but the performances range from so-so to just plain bad. I am especially galled that Ray would take so little pride in his own work. There are guitar mistakes in almost every song - over half a dozen in "Police Truck" alone. I guess they just don't care. It's also obvious I paid more attention to the stage performance than to the microphone at times. So needless to say, I don't recommend it. If anyone wants to check out live stuff without lining the pockets of those who support suing their ex-band mates, there's tons of it on the net already.
As for "democracy" and "sharing," Ray and the others have refused all requests for a full and proper accounting of Decay Music's books. They almost never share copies of any of their correspondence or let me know what is going on. All I get are vague statements claiming what they owe me is deducted for "expenses," but I am never allowed to see what all those "expenses" are. No correspondences, no invoices, no statements, nothing. Funny how the last check added down to zero. Ray also testified in court he has been skimming "commissions" for himself off whatever comes through the Decay Music account. He specifically promised me earlier he would not take "commissions" from me or the band. This is not a democracy.
I am not the only person who loves Dead Kennedys enough not to let this stand. We have formed the Alternative Tentacles Legal Defense Fund to help with the enormous costs of the appeal. The fund can be reached through Alternative Tentacles' website or mailing address.
01/04/01: JELLO TO TOUR CANADA
Due to popular demand, Jello Biafra will make some spoken word appearances in Canada in Febuary 2001. Jello's new 3xCD & 3xLP album Become The Media is due to hit the shelves wordwide on January 23rd, 2001. Jello will be hitting upon Edmonton, Calagry, Victoria and Winnipeg.
Please see TOUR DATES for venue information. Press inquiries for this tour should contact firstname.lastname@example.org
11/16/00: JELLO APPEARS IN The Widower FILM
Jello BIafra appears in a new independent Canadian film by the name of The Widower. The movie stars Shawn Milsted, K. Ramona Ott, Tim Trylinski, Irene Miscisco & Darren Andrichuk.
The movie was produced by Kevin McBride. Written by Ed Kedzierski. Directed by Marcus Rogers.
For more information on the film, please contact:
The Widower Productions